By Lex Gabrielle/Aug. 24, 2021 1:01 pm EDT
In the world of dating and looking for love, things can seem hard for many people. When you date around looking for the right person but seem to fall short, it can be truly exhausting and defeating. Dating someone and having it not work out leaves us feeling like we’ve failed. However, even when it’s not on us or not our fault, we still feel down and out when things end. People sometimes feel like they’re tired of dating altogether, which can be known as “dating fatigue,” (via Psychology Today).
Sometimes, we set ourselves up for failure without even realizing we’re doing it. When we’re dating someone and feel like it’s not going the way we want it to, it can totally crush us. Many times, when we think that someone is pulling away, we push and we try even harder to win their affection. As it turns out, this can be the reason behind why we feel so awful after things end.
Dating expert and coach Matthew Hussey explained why we do this and how we can avoid this, and it’s definitely something everyone needs to hear!
How to manage your energy when dating
Dating expert and coach Matthew Hussey explained in a TikTok video why so many people feel like giving up and “taking a break” from dating when things don’t work out with someone they’ve been seeing. Hussey explained that many times, we put so much energy into everyone we date, even when they don’t deserve it. When we see potential in someone, we give them all of us, even when they don’t deserve it or even when they show us that they’re not interested in the same ways.
Many people feel the need to continue to push this energy, or even give more of ourselves, to get them to give us back what we’re putting in. But, when someone isn’t interested, we can’t force it. Hussey said that these people become “vacuums,” sucking the energy out of us until we feel utterly depleted and burnt out. Hussey said the best way to combat this is to manage how much energy we put into relationships and dating. That way, when we find someone with potential to be the one, or even the one, we still have energy left in us and hope in us, too.
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