Relationship expert reveals five of the biggest sexual taboos we should be embracing today – including bondage and reading erotica
- Annabelle Knight has shared her advice when it comes to sexual taboos
- Among the list are bondage, erotica, sex toys, role swapping and adult shopping
- Sex expert added having a caring and considerate conversation was important
A sexpert has revealed the sexual trends that are no longer taboos today and how best to embrace them.
The British relationship expert Annabelle Knight, from Lovehoney, has shone a light on how bondage, erotica, sex toys, anal play, role swapping and adult shopping can all have a valuable place in a healthy relationship.
As the on-going conversation around sex continues, Annabelle also added that having a caring and considerate conversation about the sexual experience was also advisable.
Here she reveals to FEMAIL the five biggest taboos we should be welcoming….
A sex expert has revealed the six big sexual taboos that people need to embrace in the 21st century. (File photo)
BDSM (the act of using Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission and Sadomasochism in sexual encounters), used to be the stuff of underground clubs or fetish societies and was hidden away from mainstream sex.
Nowadays including bondage in your sexual repertoire is, for lots of people, part and parcel of a healthy and happy sex life.
From light bondage, such as using masks for sensory deprivation to spanking, and restraint play. Whatever your level of experience there’s always a way you can dabble in BDSM fun.
Using a necktie or scarf to limit your partner’s sight can work wonders, as doing this can heighten their other senses, and make them more sensitive to sensual touch. This results in a more intense, and more often, satisfying sexual experience.
There are specialised bondage kits out there for every experience level such as this red hot bondage kit, which includes a little bit of everything to get you started.
However, when incorporating bondage into your life make sure you have agreed your boundaries and decided on a safe word, to ensure that play is both safe and consensual.
In days gone by erotic literature was often met with raised eyebrows. When Lady Chatterley’s Lover was published, it was the subject of a watershed obscenity trial against the publisher Penguin Books.
But now, thanks to authors like Jilly Cooper, Sylvia Day, and E.L James, erotic fiction has become so mainstream that you can easily find these books on the shop floor of most bookstores.
Lovehoney sexpert Annabelle Knight (pictured) has shared her advice on the sexual taboos
Erotic fiction allows people to live out their fantasies through fiction, as well as garnering new ideas for the bedroom. Women that read erotic fiction report enjoying seventy-four percent more sex than women who do not.
As a couple, reading erotic fiction together can be a huge turn on, and, in a way can act as foreplay in itself. There are tonnes of great stuff out there; literotica.com offers a plethora of free erotic fiction with authors uploading new stories daily.
For something that bridges the gap between erotic fiction and women’s literature try The Endless Autumn, cited as being a mix of Fifty Shades of Grey and Bridget Jones’s Diary, it has a great blend of story and sex.
3. Couples sex toys
According to Lovehoney’s sexual Happiness Survey over two-thirds of us believe that sex plays an important role in our overall happiness, which is why more and more people are expanding their sexual repertoire with sex toys.
For many, sex toys are seen as something to be enjoyed during solo sex, but increasingly couples are turning to sex toys to enhance their sex lives.
Vibrating love rings are my most recommended couples toys as they have erection-enhancing properties and a plethora of benefits including additional external clitoral stimulation, which is extremely important for female pleasure and orgasm.
4. Anal play
In some circles the act of anal play is still very much taboo, however it’s becoming a more widely accepted sexual practice.
In the nineties around twenty-five percent of people had tried anal, but that figure had shot up to around forty percent by 2009.
The benefits of anal play are vast, not only could you achieve an entirely different type of orgasm, anal sex is also pregnancy risk free and, for those with medical problems such as Vaginismus, (where the vaginal canal closes through muscle spasms), anal play allows for intimate penetration, without discomfort or pain.
Annabelle said erotic fiction allows people to live out their fantasies through fiction, as well as garnering new ideas for the bedroom. (File photo)
Proper anal play is extremely important – make sure to bathe beforehand and ensure you apply a good quality anal lubricant often during play.
It’s very important to take things slowly – I’d recommend using a finger or a slimline sex toy to prepare your anus before penetration.
5. Role swapping
Nowadays we are far more accepting of straying away from traditional gender roles in the bedroom.
Pegging is increasing in popularity among heterosexual couples; breaking the taboo is seen as incredibly sexy and can increase intimacy levels both sexually and emotionally.
Pegging, or strap on play is where the male partner is penetrated by the female partner, through the use of a harness and strap on.
The sex expert added that more couples were turning to sex toys to enhance their sex lives. (File photo)
A couple of years ago almost half of couples asked had no idea what pegging was, however, since then sales of strap ons and pegging sets have risen by almost 200 per cent according to Lovehoney.
Reversing roles can be hugely empowering and as a result an even bigger turn on. For anyone wishing to try it I’d recommend using plenty of anal lubricant and a strap on set with graduating dildos that allow for progression play.
One taboo that should never be broken…consent
Reluctance play is something that lots of couples enjoy- however it should always be consensual.
Sex is an on-going conversation with whoever is involved. If at any point someone changes their mind, then play should cease.
Having a caring and considerate conversation about the experience after is also advisable as proper sexual aftercare is very important for a happy and healthy sex life.
Lovehoney’s first-ever Pop Up Christmas Gift Shop in Covent Garden, London WC2N is now open until 14th November.
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