So, how’s your sex life?
For a lot of people, the answer is ‘meh’… or worse.
A survey of 2,000 sexually active people in the US has found that half of coupled-up people say their current partner is the worst sex they’ve ever had.
That means loads of people are having fairly rubbish sex.
While you might think that this is down to the rose-tinted perspective applied to our past encounters, – like how when you’re in a relationship, you miss being single and think fondly of those wild one-night stands and the early days of dating – the poll noted that one in five are fully aware that their past sex lives weren’t all fine and dandy.
One in five said they had experienced more than 10 truly awful sex sessions in their life, while the average number settled at seven.
And those less-than-stellar incidents stay with you – the survey, conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Lelo, found that for 69% of people, good and bad sex is equally unforgettable.
What marks out a sexual experience as truly rubbish, then?
Awkwardness and injuries are up there, sure, but there’s an important lesson to be learned: communication, honesty, and laughing things off when they go wrong are key to having better sex.
Sara Kranjcec Jukic, Lelo’s global brand manager, said: ‘There is just something about awkward sex injuries or stories that will cause a giggle, no matter how seriously you take yourself.
‘Doggy-style injuries, stopping mid-way because you had to pee, that moment when you regretted your exhibitionism — all of these are a part of every person’s sex life.
The sex positions that cause the most injuries:
‘The more these stories are shared in a non-judgemental and humoristic way, the more fun will everyone have. Life isn’t a movie — sex between real people is always awkward to some degree, and no one can escape it, so it’s completely unreasonable to be ashamed of it.
‘Let’s be honest, if you’re with the right person, there’s nothing that can happen during sex that you won’t be able to laugh off, possibly even store for later to use as a funny anecdote,” added Sara Kranjcec Jukic.
‘Good sex happens when both sides do their best to listen to their own body, pay attention to their partner and when they stop taking themselves so seriously. Just relax and enjoy yourselves!’
Our advice? If you’re among the people who list their current partner as the worst sex ever, it’s high time to have a chat.
Don’t just put up with poor pleasure. Do some show and tell for what feels good, talk about what turns you on, and tell your partner if they’re doing something that instantly wrecks your path to orgasms.
‘When it comes to owning your sexual desires, open communication and mutual respect are vital,’ Asa Baav, sex expert and founder of Tailor Matched, tells Metro.co.uk.
‘If you’re nervous, start slow and ease into it. Simply share with each other some things that really get you off.
‘Focus on what is going well, what is working and what we like – this will lead to your partner(s) doing more of that.
‘Another helpful way to start a conversation about your turn-ons, fantasies, and boundaries, is to try making a “yes/no/maybe” list.
‘Write down any sexual acts that come to mind, and then both you and your partner take turns marking each as a yes, no, or maybe.
‘This can be a sexy and fun way to get to know each other better and explore things you may not have considered before.
‘Remember to play with it and not take it too seriously. If something doesn’t land, laugh it off and move on.’
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