DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN never resist my married boyfriend – I even had sex with him the day before his wedding. I know there is no future with him but we need each other.
I am a 26-year-old single mum with an eight-year-old daughter. We see nothing of her dad.
I started seeing my boyfriend four years ago. He is 29.
It was just casual fun for us at first. I was not even bothered when he found someone else.
It was just nice having someone come round and we carried on seeing one another.
Then he started to feel guilty, so we stopped, but he came round the next week saying he could not be without me. So we have carried on our affair.
I have tried to finish with him several times but he comes round in tears and we just fall into one another’s arms once more. I know he loves me and I love him.
I found out four months ago that he was engaged and that the wedding was one month away.
I dumped him and ignored all his calls and messages. Then, five days before his wedding, he caught me at home and pleaded with me. He cried and said he could not be without me, he loved me and nothing would change.
We ended up in bed again and he came round every day.
We had sex right up to the day before the wedding.
Even on his honeymoon he messaged me constantly. He phoned me as soon as he was back home again.
I have tried not contacting him and blocking his calls but it is pointless. He just comes round and we end up together.
He came round again this evening and I told him it was over, but he was so loving and understanding that we ended up having sex.
I have confided in my best friend and she tells me what I already know, that I shall never be able to move on with him around.
But I see how sad he gets when faced with losing me and I just can’t do it.
HAVING talked to thousands of survivors of child sex abuse over the years, my e-leaflet Abused As A Child? explains common long-term effects and where to find understanding support.
For a copy, email me at [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: You know there is no future with him, so try to understand why you repeatedly give in when you’re just going to be his guilty secret.
Maybe something in your past has led you to expect no better, but you deserve to be with a man who will love you and want the whole world to know.
Breaking with him will be better for your daughter, too. She may not understand exactly what is happening but she will know subconsciously that her mother is being used and she could come to accept that as normal.
Be brave and finish with him. Block his messages and emails as well as calls. Fit a spyhole in your front door and do not let him in if he comes round.
My e-leaflet Finding The Right Partner For You will help.
Source: Read Full Article