I am avoiding my best friend because her children are so awful

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE started avoiding my best friend because her children are so awful.

I am a woman of 30 and we have been best mates for 12 years since we met on our first day of college, aged 18.


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I used to really enjoy spending time with her but recently I’ve been avoiding her because of her children, who are aged eight and six.

They are rude, loud and bad-mannered. When we are out they shout and scream, even swear.

The younger one even hits my daughter, who is also six.

But my friend doesn’t tell them off. In fact, she lets them push her and hit her too.

If I say anything, she just laughs about their behaviour.

Lockdown has given me some relief from her children but once the regulations are released, I’ll have to deal with them again.

I don’t want to lose her as a friend.

DEIDRE SAYS: Their behaviour does sound unacceptable. She seems to have lost control of them.

When she laughs about the way they behave, it is probably not because she thinks it’s fine or funny but because she doesn’t want to admit she is struggling to discipline them.

Does she get any support? If she has a partner, perhaps her kids are mimicking his behaviour. She clearly isn’t coping.

Don’t give up on her, however. Could you suggest meeting up alone when they are back at school? Maybe she will open up.

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