Thanks to artists like Cardi B and Megan thee Stallion, a woman’s feminine energy and the “feminine divine” are taking center stage in pop culture right now. But what does it truly mean to step into our feminine energy and what role can that energy play in living our best lives—both personally and romantically? Of course, ESSENCE has the answers for you.
Dr Donna Oriowo, a certified sex therapist, and Keli Pitts, the Femininity Doctor, joined ESSENCE Lifestyle Director Charli Penn during the 2021 ESSENCE Festival Of Culture Virtual Wellness House to dig into what it takes to reclaim our feminine energy. Let’s start with the terms we hear thrown around, like “femininity” and “feminine energy”, and break down what they really mean.
“Femininity to me means a woman’s understanding of her nature and her ability to operate in that nature at all times,” says Pitts. “And [when] we think about the nature of a woman, we think about vulnerability, we think about gentility, fluidity, emotional intelligence, tenderness, sweetness and a whole host of other things but mainly those. So when a woman is honoring that, she is fully in her femininity.”
“Femininity like so many other things that we know is very much a social construct,” explains Dr. Oriowo. “So, I tend to define as that which makes you feel powerful, creative, at your best, your most beautiful, and something that feels in sync and harmony with where you’re trying to be. So not just an act that you put on, but something that you cloth yourself in that’s more revealing of the inner-self, so it’s about your authenticity more than anything shining through and how you see your femininity moving forward.”
But now that you’ve defined it, how does one get more in touch with this energy. Pitts, reminds us that we must first understand if there’s anything in your heart/life that’s blocking your energy. “Understanding that nothing impure belongs in a divine house and our femininity and our bodies are like divine houses. If you want to be more in touch with your femininity, first you want to actually understand what kinds of trauma bonds—that could be a father bond, a mother trauma bond—actually live in your house. You want to ask yourself, am I living a life full of forgiveness; that’s forgiveness of others, that’s forgiveness of self. Because when we have lenses shaded with impurity, anger, resentment and illness it’s really, really hard to be in tune with our pure feminine natures.”
“You can’t solve a problem that you don’t recognize that there is one,” says Dr. Oriowo. “So being able to come to center and be like, ‘ok, this thing has been an issue for me’ and then being able to define for yourself what does it mean for you to live your most authentic life. For you to bring forward the best pieces that there are about you and where you would like to go ultimately. Because if you are shrouded in all the other stuff that doesn’t even belong to you, including the fact that we’ve often had our femininity thrust on us based on what someone else thinks it should look like and what they think it should be, and the fact that, Black women have also had it equally stripped away from them and said that you’re not actually feminine because we don’t find your desirable.”
For more great advice on unleashing your true feminine energy from this powerful conversation, watch the full interview above.
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