Inflatable flamingos are so 2017.
Now you’ll need to impress anyone with a pool by getting a full-on inflatable speedboat that’s big enough for all your friends (well, you plus five of them).
Handily you can get exactly that through Amazon, which is indeed selling an inflatable boat that fits six guests.
To be clear, this isn’t an actual speedboat, in that it doesn’t have a motor and thus cannot be used to sail the fine seas.
Instead it’s a massive inflatable that looks like a boat.
Wait ’til the Sail Club sees you now.
The Inflatable Bay Breeze Boat Party Island has two seating areas on the front and in the back, so you can do the whole ‘dancing on a speedboat popping champagne’ thing, if you so wish.
It also has eight cup holders and a built-in drinks cooler.
So clearly it’s designed to party, even if you do end up inflating it in your mum’s back garden (the product description states it’s the ‘perfect lounge for land or water use’, so clearly a garden boat party is acceptable).
And as you’ve likely guessed, it is quite large. You can’t just pop this in your pond, if you have your heart set on floating on water you’ll need to look for, well, a big pool or the actual sea.
The boat measures in at 20 feet long and 10 feet wide, so yes, it’s a big lad and not exactly subtle. This isn’t your average low-key inflatable, it’s a statement.
And with a large inflatable statement comes great responsibility, by which we mean the arduous task of blowing it up.
You will indeed need a proper pump, no matter how much you boast about your lung capacity. A human cannot inflate an entire boat by willpower alone. Do not attempt it, for you risk both embarrassment and fainting.
You’ll need some spare cash, too, as getting your paws on your own inflatable boat will cost you around $279.99 (£222).
Be warned that the moment you look at said speedboat on Amazon your recommended products will be entirely made up of boating equipment and hot tubs. Learn from my mistakes.
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