A BLOKE has been left entertained at finding an old calling card for a “Percy Long Prong” under his floorboards, which promises “spinsters and widows” a good time.
Images of the racy “business card” were shared on Reddit, with Percy saying lucky customers can expect a “Two Time guarantee”.
Writing on Reddit, the bloke said: “Friend works as restorer. Just found this under floorboards of old property he’s working on …”
While it may seem to be good to be true, it is a comical discovery nonetheless.
The card claims that Percy Long Prong has a “satisfaction guarantee”, and that widows are a “speciality”.
Widows aren’t the only ones in for a good time, however, as the card also says that “maidens are treated gently”, and “spinsters are delighted”.
Of course, for a premium service you’d expect to pay properly, and Percy asks for “cash before mounting”.
He adds that “extra attention is given to neglected married women”.
Helpful Percy has also included a detailed price list on the back of services offered, and it’s certainly eye-opening.
You could have paid for the hour (10 shillings), or you could have splashed out for the whole night (15 shillings), with two sessions “guaranteed”.
The top section of the card with specific services is sadly partially rubbed off, but the words that do remain include words such as “caress” and “positions”.
We get the gist.
However, under the “extras” sections, you could have looked forward to a “bubble shake” and a “saliva exchange” to name a few.
Whips and scourges – only “three strokes” given – are a premium product at 15 shillings, and even vaseline is listed as 5 pence “if needed”.
What’s even better is Percy also “gives Green Shield Stamps”, which could allow customers to buy gifts from catalogues or affiliated retailers.
The post has received over 133,700 views on Imgur and Reddit since it was posted this week, and some people are skeptical as to whether Percy actually existed.
Real or not real, it is certainly a comical read.
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