This time last year IHOP tried to change it’s name to IHOB and there was a hard and fast “No” from everyone. IHOP revealed it was all just a shameless stunt to promote their new line of burgers. Well, recently they teased that another name change is coming and asked the internet to guess what the P in IHOP now stands for (internet of course guessing: penis!)
Yesterday was the big reveal and it turns out it’s not the International House of Penis. That would be good. This is the opposite of good. The P now stands for “burger.” You read that right. The fuckwits at IHOP are sticking pancakes in burgers and saying the P stands for “burger.” Or maybe pancake-burger?!
IHOP(enis) had this to say on their website:
“When we changed our name to IHOb (for burgers) the internet told us to stick to pancakes,” the chain writes on their website. “So we’re sticking to ‘pancakes.’ Hint: They’re burgers.”
Another Hint: IHOP doesn’t understand that letters represent a sound and said sound has to match the item it’s representing. Therefore P CAN’T STAND FOR BURGERS. Another hint: They’re assholes.
According to USA Today
Now, the Glendale, California-based chain has taken to calling the newest editions to its burgers line-up “pancakes.”
The trio of new menu items – black angus beef pancakes – are the Big IHOP Pancake (Burger), which actually includes a traditional pancake between the meat patties; the Garlic Butter Pancake (Steakburger); and the Loaded Philly Pancake (Steakburger).
IHOP, which stand for International House of Pancakes, is calling its new vocabulary do-si-do “a playful twist that again shows that it takes its burgers as seriously as it takes it pancakes.”
Okay, I’m glad someone is taking this mess seriously. IHOP is also reporting there is list of blacklisted Twitter users who insulted their name change, and according to chief marketing officer Brad Haley, in order to get back in the pancake house’s good graces they need to tweet something nice.
“Those who tweeted something, shall we say, unkind last year may find that they’re on The Bancake List, an aggregated list of Twitter users who tweeted at IHOP to stay in its lane,” he said. To get off the list, they must tweet something positive about IHOP’s pancakes, er, burgers, though IHOP has some prewritten options they can choose from. Some reformed fans will get tokens of appreciation from the company, though Haley didn’t say what those are.
What are the tokens of appreciation?! I hope it’s benis (burger/penis) related! Also, I have been in a lot of petty fights but have never (surprisingly) got into it with a pancake house. That said, whoever did insult IHOP better not back down. Not in this pancake-is-a-burger world! If I was on the BANcake list it would go on my tombstone. “Here lies, Deirdre: mother, writer, on a pancake watch list since 2019.”
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