Unless you’re a Disney princess, falling in love is not easy. After swiping on a million dating apps, you may give up on finding the one for you because it’s too hard. That’s when you need a get-rich-quick scheme, but for love. That’s kind of what Dr. Arthur Aron’s 36 questions to fall in love study from 1997 was framed as (via Cosmopolitan).
The 36 questions followed by four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact were meant to create a quick intimacy between two strangers. After The New York Times did a story on the 36 questions in 2015, the test became super popular. But does it actually work? While the questions are grouped into three different phases that get more personal the further you go, does it actually make you fall in love or just create a close connection? According to Mind Body Green, it seems the test does create closeness, but love isn’t always guaranteed.
Can the 36 questions to fall in love help you on a date?
When sharing personal stories, it’s hard not to create an intimacy between two people. While the test may give you that same feeling of closeness you would develop over several months of being someone’s friend, it’s hard to produce things like loyalty and commitment in such a short timeframe. According to Mind Body Green, the test was initially conducted to create an immediate closeness, and “not an actual ongoing relationship.”
However, the 36 questions has become a super popular way for couples to get over the initial awkwardness of a first date. Not only does it give you something to talk about, but some of the questions are things you’d definitely want to know about a person before pursuing them further. For instance, the first question is “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” That can really tell you a lot about what someone likes and dislikes right away. According to Better Help, these questions can definitely help you get a “clear picture of the other person, who they are, and what’s important to them.” So, while it may not be a fall-in-love-quick scheme, it can help.
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